Friday, June 13, 2008

Life


Life

“To the silence of forgotten years!”
The reaper did toast and chime;
“To friends and foes and dreams and tears!
Those years pass by; sneak with time,
Towards that long unknown rhyme!”
He sneered and mocked my frightened ghost.
My body still and lifeless, he cheered.
Towards my floating subconscious he'd toast,
And proclaim my afterlife’s journey an unknown coast.
“Formed through sacrifice and true love”
The reaper began to brag and boast,
“For your deeds you will be rewarded above,
So forget your life, and pain and agony
For now, my friend, your life will be in paradise.”

Monday, June 9, 2008

Whst the judges thought.

''Trigger Finger Itch'' by Jo Anna Van Thuyne - WHAT THE JUDGE(S) LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY - ...The first scene at the locker is perfect. The author stretches the moment out just right, getting us in the killer's head..........The first-person narration of this story is consistently believable as that of a teenaged killer. The story is sparse and unnerving.....................
.....................Some really interesting perspectives, ie. the notion Charlie is sharing a very romantic and important moment with the woman he loves as he kills her boyfriend, as well as, Charlie finally finding happiness in school...................... WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK - ...Reminds me of a movie I watched but I can't recall the name. Basically about the Columbine shootings. So it has been done. However, this guy does it well..........This story is a vignette, rather than a full narrative. It is a surface account of a brutal act, without exploring the deeper motivations of circumstances surrounding its climax. There is little suspense, as the story is so straightfoward and generic in its characterization. .................................…......Maybe a bit too predictable. Perhaps the reasoning behind Charlie’s actions could be flushed out a bit more – not much is known except he was teased about something or other. The descriptions are repetitive and not very creative......

Meh... I wasn't very happy with the final product, but I think the positive has outweighed the negative.